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New Delhi: As her marriage began to deteriorate, Shazia Ansari's husband, an engineer, began joking sardonically about saying the word 'talaq' to divorce her.
As it unravelled further, during quarrels when he was drunk, he used to silence her by threatening to say talaq three times, signalling, for a Muslim man, instant divorce.
"The terror in my heart never went, even when we were happy, even when I slept. I used to be afraid to show my annoyance because he might divorce me.
"Then it happened, two years ago. Soon after going to Dubai to work, he sent me an email with just talaq written in it, three times," said Ms Ansari, a 28-year-old chemistry tutor in Jaipur, Rajasthan.
Her husband had opted for what is known as 'triple talaq' – saying the Arabic word for divorce three times in a row – leaving Ms Ansari divorced, crushed and humiliated.
There is a chance that this spectre, which haunts most Indian Muslim women, whether Harvard-educated MBAs or maids, of hearing their husbands pronounce 'talaq' three times could be banished.
A government committee set up two years ago to look into the status of Indian women has recommended banning the controversial triple talaq.
Muslim men can end their marriage by pronouncing talaq three times but in many Muslim countries the words are meant to be said over a period of three months so that the husband can reflect carefully before pronouncing it a final, third time.
In many Islamic countries such as Pakistan, Bangladesh, Turkey, Algeria and Iran, triple talaq – or instant divorce – is banned. In India, however, it is permitted and has often been used to divorce women frivolously.
The reasons have ranged from not keeping the house tidy and over-salting the food, to burning the dinner, having weak eyesight or grey hair.
Muslim men have said triple talaq on the phone, by SMS, by email, through Facebook, on Skype and on WhatsApp.
In a notorious case some years ago, a husband divorced his wife by pronouncing triple talaq after heavy drinking. A few days later, he repented and desperately wanted to undo it but local clerics told him that, according to Islamic law, the divorce was final and unalterable.
Women's groups – including some Muslim women's groups – who have been campaigning for triple talaq to be outlawed have been encouraged by the committee's recommendations. The committee says that "oral, unilateral and triple talaq should be banned because it makes wives extremely vulnerable and insecure regarding their marital status".
The recommendation has been sent to the Ministry of Women and Child Development which will hold consultations with civic groups.
However, any attempt to ban triple talaq will invite an angry backlash from Muslim clerics and conservative Muslim bodies such as the All India Muslim Personal Law Board which believes that this aspect of Islam cannot be tampered with.
"It is hateful, obnoxious for a man to abuse this right and we must discourage it but we cannot ban what is in the Koran, we cannot ban an Islamic law," said Kamal Farooqui, a politician and founder member of the board in New Delhi.
Instead, Mr Farooqui and the board have suggested reforming the practice by stipulating that a husband can only say triple talaq in the presence of other individuals or in the presence of an arbitrator.
For Mumbai lawyer Flavia Agnes, who specialises in women's rights, this is mere "tinkering". "Triple talaq is a devastating tool used to oppress a woman and destroy her completely. Reforming it is pointless. It is unacceptable," she said.
Ms Ansari is an educated woman and can support herself, albeit with difficulty. For uneducated and poor Muslim women, triple talaq can mean penury.
Rubina Amin, 42, who lives in the old Muslim quarter of the Indian capital, has been working as an ayah (nanny) to support her three teenage children on a monthly salary of just 4000 rupees ($85).
A year ago, her husband told her she was no longer attractive to him and he planned to marry someone else.
"When he said talaq, talaq, talaq, I thought I was going to faint. How can it be just and fair for men to be allowed to ruin a woman's life?," she asked.
Nishat Hussain, head of the National Muslim Women's Welfare Society in Jaipur, hopes the government will act fast on the recommendation to ban triple talaq.
As a devout Muslim, she is clear that the Koran allows only one form of talaq, the one that has to be stretched over three months and must include counselling for the couple and the involvement of elders so as to bring about a reconciliation rather than a divorce.
"Triple talaq is not an Islamic law but a custom that has evolved over the centuries and can therefore be banned. If Muslim countries can ban it, why not India which is not even a Muslim country?," said Ms Hussain.
