Tokyo v Bali: discover two wildly different ways to spend Christmas in Asia

Australians are flocking to Tokyo and Bali over the festive season - but which would be your Yuletide pick? Our merry experts help you decide.

Amy Cooper: Why the city with a technicolour orgy of glitter, neon, kitsch and mega-wattage is the winner.

In this week's festive Two Ways to ho, ho, ho, I'm taking you to Tokyo, an ancient city steeped in historic traditions. Christmas is not one of them. But before you call humbug and head off with Mal to Bintang merrily on high in Bali, know this: Christmas is very, very big in Japan.

With no religious affiliation in a Shinto and Buddhist country, "Meri Kurisumasu" celebrations started less than a century ago, but like the party guest who arrives late, swiftly knocks back 10 eggnog shots then leads a giant conga line down the street wearing only mistletoe and elf ears, Japan is making up for lost time.

When your Christmas is purely pop culture, you can skip straight to the fun. Unburdened by spiritual baggage, Tokyo serves up the sort of celebration many of us secretly crave: a technicolour orgy of glitter, neon, kitsch and mega-wattage with added Godzilla and robots, where no centimetre is left unlit, no costume un-bedazzled, no bough un-baubled.

It's brilliant and bonkers in equal measure. Nowhere else observes the custom of a KFC bucket for Christmas lunch, a feast so essential that queues wind beyond life-sized effigies of Colonel Sanders dressed as Santa-san.

Christmas cake is a fluffy strawberry cream sponge, resplendent in every trending bakery and Instagram feed, and because Tokyo Christmas is all about the joy, nobody spends it with family. The happiest time of the year is also its top date night. No angry uncles, no sibling side-eye - just fabulous bars filled with couples who don't know each other well enough to argue.

Around them, Tokyo's streets, parks and landmarks are ablaze with light shows - so many hundreds of thousands of LEDs, lasers and high-tech installations you can probably see it from space.

There's the Blue Cave show, not Bonnie's latest content from Kuta but a shimmering sapphire cascade of Shibuya lights. Roppongi dazzles with 930,000 sparkling white and blue tree lights, a 1.2km avenue between Tokyo Station and the Imperial Palace glows under champagne LEDs on 250 trees, and one of the world's largest Baccarat chandeliers graces Yebisu Garden Place.

Tokyo's largest amusement park, Yomiuriland, pulsates with "Jewellumination", a rainbow galaxy of light avenues, tunnels, fountains, flames and dance shows, while Mickey and his mates go all in at Tokyo Disneyland with daily parades and firework spectaculars.

Citywide Christmas markets outdo their European inspiration with banquets of wurst, mulled wine and German beer. The biggest, Tokyo Christmas Market in Shiba Park, has a 14-metre six-tier pyramid imported from Dresden (does it matter why? It's awesome!).

No wonder the Japanese Christmas anthem isn't a carol but Beethoven's Ode to Joy. Bali might be bagus, but Tokyo is the ultimate yule-topia.

Mal Chenu: Why "Yule" love the Island of the Gods, with palm trees draped in fairy lights, Santas in boardies and endless frangipanis.

If you like a little tinsel on your suitcase, or all you want for Christmas is to avoid Mariah Carey, or you will literally flee the country to avoid spending the day with relatives, Bali is the Christmas miracle you've been praying for.

For those whose nerves are jingle jangled at this time of year, and whose Advent calendar ticks off the days until you fly out, the Island of the Gods is the perfect place to cinch your Grinch. Bali's gentle rhythms and open-hearted people will have you laughing all the way, largely because your troubles (rellies) will be out of sight.

Yule love Christmas in Bali. Think palm trees draped in fairy lights, Santas in boardies, endless frangipanis, incense on the breeze and a heat-busting thunderstorm every afternoon.

Instead of Xmas trees, you'll see buildings decorated with penjor (bamboo poles adorned with coconut leaves), and exchanges of small tokens such as lollies and flowers. "Selamat Natal" replaces "selamat pagi" for the day. Some temples, such as Pura Taman Saraswati in Ubud and Pura Luhur in Uluwatu, celebrate with gamelan music and floral offerings.