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It was an unfamiliar sensation. The polar opposite of FOMO - the fear of missing out - JOMO swept over me last week as the world raced to cancel some bloke called Russell. It was the joy of missing out and it felt wonderful.
You see, until last week, I was hardly aware of this alleged comedian and actor. Sure, his face had occasionally rolled down the social media feed but I'd never bothered to unmute it. He looked too much like the contrived love child of Jack Sparrow and Keith Richards for my liking, all pale skin, kohled eyes, rat's nest hair and clothes that needed a thorough wash.
Last week, he was unmuted, as serious allegations of sexual abuse were aired and I'm relieved the whole Russell Brand thing had passed me by. The UK's judicial system - and likely the US one too - will decide if there's a case to answer and if he's guilty of the crimes of which he's been accused.
But my case against him rests. He's just not funny.
There he was on the news last week, this time unmuted, in old clips, motor-mouthing about his sexual antics, dropping his daks, forcing kisses a la Luis Rubiales on female TV reporters, doing the whole schlock shock thing. In a new clip, he'd morphed into a greying Catweasel, denying in that annoying accent he'd done anything wrong.
But he had. The jokes themselves should have had him off-air quick smart. And they should have been obvious red flags to anyone engaged in the selling of his grubby product. Except they weren't. His off brand of humour which denigrated women no matter how young was fine as long it kept making money.
What's mystifying about these old clips now is that people laughed. Why? If a loudmouthed dickhead pulled any of those stunts in a pub, they'd be frogmarched out the door if someone didn't break a bar stool over their head first. How did Brand turn his appalling schtick into celebrity? And why did he gull millions of people into following him on social media when his star faded and he went down the fevered conspiracy theory rabbit hole?
Rarely inclined to join a pile-on, I've made an exception in Brand's case. Not because of the allegations, serious enough but yet to be tested, rather because the man masquerading as a comedian has for so long got away with the crime of being singularly unfunny - all volume and no talent. And complicit in that were the TV networks that provided him the platform and ignored his terrible behaviour that was for all to see.
I'll be out of the burrow for three weeks. Steve, Jenna and Garry will be arriving in your inbox instead. Stay safe while I'm out wandering.
HAVE YOUR SAY: Had you heard of Russell Brand before the allegations against him were made public? If so, did you find him funny? Having seen his antics now, do you think red flags were ignored? Email us: echidna@theechidna.com.au
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IN CASE YOU MISSED IT:
- The chief executive of Canberra Airport has told a parliamentary committee that Qantas should be broken up so its budget Jetstar airline is hived off. The alternative, Stephen Byron suggested, was to have a third airline competing with Qantas and Virgin Australia on routes within Australia.
- The Australian Electoral Commission says it is seeing more threats against staff in the lead-up to the Voice referendum than during any other electoral event, as the agency battles against the rise of "tinfoil hat-wearing" conspiracy theories.
- Michele Bullock may end up chairing both the Reserve Bank of Australia's monetary policy board and a new governance board. The governance structure would be at odds with an independent review into the bank that recommended an external chair be appointed to helm the second board tasked with running the institution's finances and organisational strategy.
THEY SAID IT: "Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful." - John Wooden
YOU SAID IT: Heatwave brings back hard memories of Black Summer.
Deirdre writes of her fire experience in northern NSW: "We were ready to evacuate in early September when the fire near our town continued to rage and the sound of firefighting aeroplanes and helicopters filled the sky. The fire came within a couple of kilometres of our house, there was a ferocious wind that day. Luckily the wind blew the fire towards the coast instead of towards us. Months of bushfire smoke preceded and followed this. My husband had a stroke. Luckily the Pacific Highway wasn't closed that day and the ambulance was able to take him to the regional hospital equipped to treat strokes. Returning from a follow-up appointment, the Pacific Highway was closed and we had to overnight in Ballina. Luckily, my cousin in Mallacoota had recently relocated to an aged residential care facility in a NSW coastal town. She was evacuated at short notice to another NSW coastal town where she stayed for many weeks. They were not allowed to watch the TV in case it upset them. Naturally, she wanted to know what was going on so I phoned her almost daily with an update."
"I read your piece about your experience of the Black Summer fires and it touched something deep and primal within me," writes Marna. "I, too, lived through that experience on the Far South Coast of NSW, surrounded by fires on all sides. Memories flooded back of that day when the sky turned bright orange then pitch black at 5pm and all communications ceased. We spent the night with fires roaring toward us from all directions, no connection to any updates or information and a fire plan that we found out later wouldn't work anyway. I recently saw the very powerful and moving film Mourning Country at the Far South Film Festival in my hometown Merimbula, about Uncle Noel Butler and the loss experienced at his property and had the pleasure of hearing him speak on a panel about his connection to country, his loss and the regeneration of the property, assisted by donations of plants from people all over Australia."
Retired RFS captain Satfford writes: "The best way of dealing with fires is to put them out before they spread, heat up and become unstoppable. The only answer seems to be from the air, with a squadron of specialised water bombers that are ready to be deployed within minutes. VSTOL aircraft, such as the Caribou that can carry up to four tonnes, can operate out of paddocks and are extremely reliable. Maybe there are now better aircraft, but you get the idea. RFS water tankers would be better employed ferrying water to these aircraft than trying to directly attack wildfires. Of course the fleet would need to be large enough to be able to fly in sorties, with one aircraft following the other, dousing the flames totally in one pass. If that doesn't happen, the fire will get away again and a larger area needs to be dealt with."
"My wife and I were on a cruise which included a visit to Eden, back in the bushfire crisis. Due to the fires we did not visit but stayed out to sea with the fog horns going off for days on board as the smoke engulfed us. We then visited Melbourne and Tasmania before heading off to New Zealand but the smoke caught up with us again as we crossed the Tasman and later hit New Zealand proper. It shows that the intensity of our bushfires are not just affecting Australians but the world."